I used to like to believe that men were very dumb. Statistics at the end of every school examination always proved so.
A little later I started believing that men were a different species altogether – feminist teachers and too much literature tend to do that to you.
As of today, I’m convinced that men are dumb, men are different, and men will NEVER change. NEVER. They will always be stupid, they will always be different, and they will always use the dumbest pick-up lines to do what they love doing – chasing girls.
I thought it would be fun to make a list of some of the corniest lines I have ever heard. Here goes:
“I didn’t believe in love at first sight…till I saw you”
(dude…your’e not wearing ur glasses…ur more outta sight than u know!)
Guy at Daaali wedding..and this can only happen in delhi!
“I think I’ve seen you somewhere…..in my dreams”
Guy at the workplace, his manager used to sit next to me:
“I can’t seem to find my manager, but if you do see him (scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands it to me), do give me a call, here’s my number. My name is Mukul.”
(I left his little chit of paper at his manager’s desk)
My friend ‘Anj’ told me about her experience:
“Could you please walk by me one more time…cos I don’t believe in love at first sight.”
The following guy had left me baffled for a very long time:
“I’m really sorry for what I did. I did not mean to hurt you or upset you. I hope you’re o.k.”
(I had nooooo clue who this guy was and what he was talking about…only months later I came to know that it was all an attention seeking gimmick.)
I had heard about the following guy on our campus, and even had the opportunity to witness him in action, twice:
“Excuse me, are you from Delhi?”
“Oh ok..you looked very familiar..by the way my name is…”
“Excuse me, are you from Delhi?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Your face is so familiar..I’m from Delhi…by the way my name is….”
(Eventually the word spread that this guy was not from Delhi but from some “near by Delhi” place)
Younger men are also getting gutsy:
“The other day when u were conducting dumb charades u were looking soooo soooo sooo sooo beautiful….I could neither participate but keep staring at u as I volunteered to be the scorer..aha nice ploy by me right?? I wrote a poem too [well sometimes i do so] I will read it to u when i meet or meat u next time.”
(‘meat’ you next time???????? I have decided never to organize dumb charades ever again….)
The following happened today, and I so cannot get over it. I moved to a new office and was setting up my system, when all of a sudden this guy pops outta nowhere, holding glossy paper fliers in his hand, smiling his jaws out and he says:
“Hi! I’m Nikhil. Can you please show me how to take a printout of this?”
(Printout?? What was he thinking?????? At least if he said ‘photocopy’ his lame excuse would have been more plausible!)
Why must men resort to ‘lines’ just to get to know someone? It amazes me that a simple ‘hi’ does not seem to be good enough for them. I mean, replace all those corny pick-up lines with a simple ‘hi’ or a shy smile, and you have the same men transformed from jokers to normal guys. Instead they choose to make asses of themselves with their dumb pick up lines (often accompanied by a pasty grin to make matters worse).
There was a time when I would ask myself, “What were they thinking????”
And then like a bolt of lightening, the answer struck me —-
Men do not think 🙂