One of the biggest paradoxes about the Indian society is its obsession for getting people married. It’s something I have never got, and something I never will understand.
I have tried to analyse it from a researcher’s point of view, written a paper on the matrimonial as a narrative of India, gone through matrimonial ads on the net and newspaper, not cos I’m on the lookout for a prospective groom but because I am trying to understand the concept of marriages in India.
And yet, I have not got any answers to all the questions I have asked.
All our lives, us girls are protected from boys – and this is a rampant feature in India and many other Asian countries. We are told not to talk to boys, not to be too friendly with them, not to be seen going for a movie with a boy, not talk on the phone with them, to shy away from them, to beware of them, to protect your chastity from them… why?
Because the concept of a platonic relationship between a boy and girl can never exist in the Indian society… because girls are indoctrinated with the theory that “boys are bad”
And one fine day you turn 20 something, and it’s that time of your life when the people who said you would burn in fire and brimstone if you dared to look at a boy, are all of a sudden conspiring to not only find you a boy, but ensure you procreate with an ABSOLUTE STRANGER, all in the name of “marriage”
And I just don’t get it.
The sad part is, it seems that the people who created this paradox are its biggest victims. Their only consolation is that “marriage is a necessary evil”..and what pisses me off the most, is that most people have allowed themselves to succumb to this ‘necessary evil’ without so much as thinking about it. And that girls my age think that a sentence as lame as “when you get married, you will understand” is going to console me.
I’m sorry, I do not understand. I refuse to abide by a theory that is illogical, I refuse to see how it is abnormal to be seen talking to a boy all your life, but its completely normal to want to spend the rest of your life with someone on the basis of his photograph. To be a virgin all your life, but to set an auspicious date so as to lose it with someone you don’t even know.
And to make matters worse
– Scientific studies have proved that man’s lifespan increases by ten years after marriage, but women unfortunately have only four years to gain, or should I say, six years to lose?
– The wife is STILL expected to be the one to compromise on her career if her pati parmeshwar gets a transfer. Interestingly, I have never heard of a female equivalent of ‘pati parmeshwar’. I have heard of ‘sati savitri’, but alas, sati nowadays only connotes the social evil that is forced self immolation.
– a boy is PERFECT if he agrees to cook and be a house husband. But if a girl does the same thing, she’s just ‘normal’
– A line of educational degrees appended to your name is a great way of securing a worthy spouse, and a greater way of securing a good dowry.
And you expect me to believe that marriage is the “best thing” that could happen to me??????
What am I missing out here?????