Single, not ready to mingle

I wish I were single
For the rest of my life
I wish people did not brand me a commitment-phobe just cos I prefer being single
I wish my reasons for wanting to marry were stronger than wanting to have legitimate children and safety from creeps
I wish I could take my mother’s view of seeing more boys…arranged or non arranged more seriously
Perhaps I should start meeting boys
Perhaps I should meet some lesbians
I want to know what true love is all about
I want to know if this is true love
I want to meet the one
I wish I were strong enough to make anyone the one
I wish I was not so confused
I’d like to believe there is no such thing as the one,
and if there is, I’d like to believe it’s me 🙂

A.m. I a narcissist?
A.m. I really too full of myself?
Could the auto-correct please stop printing ‘am’ as a.m.?
Do I use the word ‘I’ too often? In my blog? In my chats? In regular conversation?

I wish he did not get away
I wish he did not return
I wish things happened the way I wanted them to
I wish nice guys knew how to sing and dance
I wish I was a wildlife photographer
I’m using the word I too often

I hate wannabes, but have been accused of being one
I hate hypocrites, but I know I’m one
I hate having to fight with the people I love
But sometimes, I feel good letting them know exactly how I feel
I wish I could have a spiritual make-over, and ‘grow up’ as my sibling says
I wanna be a lady and go to charm school
I wanna be a radical and never wax my legs

I need to go now…..

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20 Responses to “Single, not ready to mingle”

  1. autogato Says:

    Wow. Sounds like you have so much to contend with and explore. In this culture there is a great deal of pressure to pair up and go two-by-two through life, as if on the ark. However, I imagine that in your culture the pressure is far greater (for example, the pressure creates arranged relationships – the importance of being in a pair is so high that one must be matched, even against one’s own volition). To be caught in that culture clash between traditional and new values must be a difficult experience to navigate, yet exciting at the same time. So many dichotomies.

  2. Udeesha Says:

    What happened darlin ?? You sound soo depressed !

  3. autogato Says:

    I just reread that. On a lighter note, you <>never<> have to wax your legs. Ever. I live in a country where women are expected to have shaved legs. My neighbor shaves her legs once a week at the most. She says “To hell with having to shave.” It’s a great attitude. Let’s buck conformity to what it has traditionally meant to be a female.Revolution!

  4. Rohan D'souza Says:

    HHAHAHAH,… one of the reason i really respect you is, you let it out… You can never be a hypocrite as long you say what you feel… Fortunately for us i think nobody can claim to be a total non-hypocrite About waxing i suppose not all women need to, maybe its a assumption that girls make. Maybe waxing is only for extreme cases.. 🙂

  5. Uday Says:

    About waxing, another of those campaigns I support because of which I am labelled the way I am: http://www.noscruf.org/😀

  6. Trauma Queen Says:

    hmmm.no not depressed or upset…just…reflective.im not being put under any pressure by my folks for anything..they r the sweetest ppl on this planet..just that I can’t help but wonder the kind of societal pressures they are under…i think it’s harder to be a parent than to be a child…perhpas i owed this post to autogato..my incessant ramblings on ‘the one’ never seem to end..and well…they sem to entertain everybody else 😛moreover i had always wanted to write something on singlehood, but never really knew how to put it in words. im not against couplehood, i just prefer being single. i’m one of those types who is going to be single for the rest of her life…and singlehood here meaning a state of mind..not a social status 🙂

  7. Trauma Queen Says:

    i dont wax or shave my legs..but i DO have a problem with hairy underarms…in either gender…..tho i must admit waxing is a great way of getting rid of the dead cells n thus ensuring better skin. then again, my arms cannot take that kinda follicular stress!

  8. Uday Says:

    “singlehood here meaning a state of mind..not a social status”:-/Pray do telll what you mean by this? I hope you dont mean that you will be with someone yet not be with him emotionally? 😀

  9. Trauma Queen Says:

    damn! do i sound so negative?being with somenoe but not being with him emotionally?? i think its better not to be with the person at all!all i meant was..having the privilege of doing ur own thing n living ur life as an individual even if you’re a couple..n not thinking that your life is worthless jus cos there aint sumone with you…or even if there is sumone…its important to always continue to be YOU, as a single entity, where your life is not always about compromising or pleasing ur better half or suffering from separation anxiety when he aint around…but enhoying being you.hope that clears the air….

  10. autogato Says:

    Thanks for clearing the air. You did sound a big down. However, I REALLY have to applaud you for saying that. I’m so thrilled that you have this wonderful feminist stance – that has to be hard for you in your culture sometimes. Just based on that I’ve read from you, sou, and at the BNP, women are frequently treated poorly and viewed as something that can be harassed. I really applaud you.Ugh. And with regard to “the one.” ACK ACK ACK. I think if it spit on me I still wouldn’t know. For a little while I thought that that person might exist, but I’m really back now believing that there can be multiple “ones.” I honestly think that there is no ONE SINGLE RIGHT PERSON. Nope. Not for me. They’re everywhere, I think.

  11. autogato Says:

    Of course, someone who has a “one” will probably tell me that I say that b/c I’ve yet to marry.

  12. sou Says:

    I wish my reasons for wanting to marry were stronger than wanting to have legitimate children and safety from creepshahaa..Maybe you should just settle for a sperm donor and a can of mace.. till your reasons for marriage change. 🙂

  13. Trauma Queen Says:

    mace spray…maybe 🙂sperm donor..errrrr…not me!!

  14. Trauma Queen Says:

    autogato..they all say that“you dont blv in the one cos u haven’t found him/her yet”blah blah blahthe in thing now is to ‘make’ anyone the one 😉at least that’s wat a forward i got said 😛

  15. Uday Says:

    @tq: now its my turn to say dont take me so seriously!!! :p Was jst kidding 🙂@autogato: back now believing that there can be multiple “ones.”he he, i totally agree, even I dont believe in the concept of soulmates. TQ and I were discussing the exact same thing yest 😀

  16. Trauma Queen Says:

    multiple ones??what we talkig about again???hehehehor as my frend ashish says “the any one”hehehhee

  17. Orion Says:

    Honestly, I feel love rules. One is a lonely number and it is good to have love in life. Unfortunately love is a rare commodity in today’s world… Marriage is an institution to make life simpler and promote social binding. so it is a different ball game..Both have their place in life as we are not the free souls we would like to be. Getting the right person is important and so is keeping an open attitude.. Keep ur options open gal, who knows.. tc

  18. The Wise Man From Hell Says:

    Make anyone the ‘one’ and you won’t have ‘one’, but ‘ones, or ‘many’…come to think of it, not a bad thing at all to have, in an ideal world…

  19. fondfire Says:

    Everything you said in this post makes a lot of sense to me. I’m single, I’m thirty, I’m getting a lot of family pressure, and I’m beginning to be treated like a bit of freak for not even dating. (It’s a little different in the U. S. where a lot of people have been put off of marriage by bad experiences and it’s common for people to tell you how horrible their experience of marriage was, exactly. But I don’t really enjoy being classified with the bitter, and as you said, the “selfish.” Also, “arranged” is not an option here. I’ve often thought that, if it was, I might have taken myself up on it by now!)I hope I meet a charm school graduate who doesn’t shave her legs some day! That would be the girl for me, I think. 🙂

  20. fondfire Says:

    I never really believed in “The One.” In part that’s because I think the experience of growing together with someone is so very valuable. Declaring them “the One” ahead of time seems to cheapen the value of the interaction that binds you together with someone over time.I’d agree that putting your own needs and desires completely aside for someone else is bad. But binding yourself to someone else because you love them can, at its best, transcend individuality, I think. I think there is some value to the “one” you bcome together that doesn’t violate your individual needs and your integrity as a person so badly. At least I think I’ve perceived that kind of bond in a few couples.Of course, I really try not to think about dating and marriage too much. I have no prospects. It can be depressing if I dwell on it . . .


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