Goodbye, Hello

So I’m the Time’s person of the year, and so are you and so is everybody else 😛

So we learnt the meaning of a shrinking world, we crossed boundaries, respected differences, ego-surfed, narcicissed, plagiarized and so on and so forth.

We read between the lines when no lines existed, we hid behind anonymous identities secretly spewing opinions. We abused, we tolerated, we made friends, we learnt and perhaps un-learnt.

In my own life, office creeps paved the way for good, decent male friends.

Jennifer Aniston decided to steal my new year resolution of being single and happy. Of course, I don’t want people to think I copied her idea, so I shall not write about it on my blog – “my little space” where I get to rave and rant about silly things that affect me so.

The public has taken the place of the private, we prefer leaving scraps to sending emails. We fish for sympathy from our blogger friends because we are too scared to hear the truth from our ‘real’ friends. We have the occasional ‘psycho’ enjoying the freedom of invisibility so much that voyeurism, e-stalking and pornographic avatars are now ‘cool’ things to indulge in.

Virgins are becoming a minority in India. If you choose to wear a chastity ring, you are frowned upon as being a new-age weirdo who is too scared of ‘defying’ an antiquated moral system. There is no such thing as peer pressure when you have crossed your teens, or so is the belief. You are supposedly old enough to think for yourself, whether you are 20 or 60.

I noticed that being parents is not easy, and being grandparents is perhaps even more challenging. Grandparents have not only gone through the arduous task of bringing up their children, they worry for their grandchildren, neglect their health, and live up to the responsibility of being role models for everybody involved.

I met people who eloped at 19, divorced at 24, people who feared they would be single for the rest of their lives, and a woman who chose to get married at 40 and have kids at 45.

Asthma is on the rise and I fear I may soon become its next victim, as is the case with every other person in my city.

I hated the corporate world two years ago, but I have also had many a reality check here. Very few people think. My doggie tag is now an access card that is nothing more than a mere access card. I have outgrown my communist student days and have started embracing capitalism for what it is worth. ‘Selfish’ no longer has a negative connotation in my dictionary.

I want to stop being a coward and learn to make up my mind without being so obsessed with having a plausible ‘business case’ every time. I now firmly believe that while opposites attract, they are worst things that can happen to each other. It is frustrating to always explain your jokes, your opinions, your point of views etc etc to someone who thinks so differently from you. I’m now on the lookout for a clone, at the same time, I want to give the present my very best shot, and appreciate every moment, because moments are after all, fleeting.

I might become a voice-over artist some day…some day….some day…

Till then, I sincerely pray and hope that everyone gets their chance to turn into a new leaf, if it was ever on their agenda.

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23 Responses to “Goodbye, Hello”

  1. ashish Says:

    wow, awesomeall my wishes are with youashish

  2. Something to Say Says:

    well said…. good luck to you – for your wishes and for the new year

  3. autogato Says:

    Those are some very deep thoughts there. So much to respond to. BUt yes, best wishes for you in the new year, as “something to say” said.That’s trange that peole who choose to remain virgins are looked down upon. What an interesting revolution. I think that in several ways, individuals who choose to have sex are looked down upon, but for different reasons. It’s almost like there’s no way to make people happy (but then again, why should we have to make poeple happy – our sex lives are no one’s business but our/our partner’s own). Have sex – you’re slutty. No sex -you’re a prude. It’s interesting. Does the same standard hold for males?

  4. fondfire Says:

    I can respect what you had to say about being a communist and making your peace with capitalism. I’ve made a similar (uncomfortable) transition over the past few years. (Though I still adore Noam Chomsky, so maybe not quite to the degree that you have. 😉I share some of your feelings about relationships, though I was in such a hurry to obliterate my virginity that I guess I really don’t have much grounds to relate to on that . . . I will say that the experience of rushing into sex full blast has definitely taught me to respect the desire to save oneself more so, though. I had no freaking idea what I was doing. I no longer embrace and exalt promiscuity, as I once did. There’s a WHOLE lot to be said for only falling in love once. My brother did that with his wife and I can see the beauty in that very clearly. Though I think virginity can be over-respected (immensely), there’s nothing to disrespect there, too. I always held monastic discipline in high esteem: it’s not about adhering to a rule, but maintaining discipline for self-improvement. If it’s more for others than for yourself, virginity is a silly ideal. That doesn’t seem to be what you’re saying, though.(I started not to write the last paragraph, but alas, I’m a sex-obsessed American: how could I fail to comment on sexuality statements?)I hear what you’re saying, too, about spilling your guts to strangers rather than revealing yourself to the people next to you. I’ve been doing a lot of that over the past year or two. Not everybody uses their blog that way, but that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s good and bad: it’s good to be able to share what is otherwise locked inside, but sometimes sharing with these strangers you’ll never meet only makes things more lonely.You had a lot to say. I’m tempted to imitate you at my blog. 😉I wish you the best. I hope you find your match this year. Wish me luck in the same dept: I desperately need it! 😉 But “single and loving it” can be pretty damn cool! (Every time I get a little morose about it, I always think, “Well, wouldn’t it be annoying to have to consider what my GIRLFRIEND or my WIFE wants to do right now? Instead, I can do whatever strikes me fancy!” It’s some consolation . . .)

  5. frissko Says:

    could relate to this post…good luck with your wants…and have a good year ahead..

  6. autogato Says:

    Fondfire is certainly right about it being nice to be able to do whatever you want at the moment. That’s a great thing about singlehood. A friend of mine is getting a divorce and despite all the crap involved, she’s really looking forward to just being able to have some freedom. It’s sad that marriage can be looked at like shackles sometimes. Hopefully good marriages won’t feel that way.

  7. Trauma Queen Says:

    nice comments…as i have said before, i personally feel the comments are always more interesting than the blogpost itself..im glad i got into the blogging scene and ‘met’ u guys….seriously…there is so much to learn from each of you…autogato/fondfire: very interesting inputs about virginity….and im surprised about how it is viewed in the west..i always thought virginity was no ‘issue’ in the west at all…and i guess different rules apply for different genders all over the world eh??? for men – theyre probably considered first class weirdos if they remain virgins (ever saw the crappy movie about the 30 yr old virgin?)…yet i would assume the cream of eligible indian bachelors in the arranged marriage scene are vegetarian teetotallers who ‘save themselves’ for marriage…but im not a guy..so i really dont know what kind of pressures they go through….i can only comment..the nice thing is that virginity is not such a huge issue among men or women in india anymore, which is GOOD, but i get upset when i see most people doing things because ‘everybody else is doing it’…this is with regard to fashion statements, personal values etc…so my complaint was not about virginity at all..it was about the increasing number of people who have stopped thinking for themselves, and are so beguiled by ‘what’s in’….and yet, ironically, 2006 was the year of the individual who THOUGHT and who affected change.either that or im completely blinded by time magazine and fail to see just another money making trap in there..hehehe

  8. Quicksilver! Says:

    Found myself nodding my head at your ‘Selfish’ no longer has a negative connotation in my dictionary’ observation/resolution.Good-luck with the voice-over artist dream…hope it turns to reality soon.Wishing you an Esctatic 2007!;)

  9. KS Says:

    by far ur best post so far, nice way to kick off the new yr! atta girl…

  10. Blinkdreamz Says:

    Sorry to see a communist embrace capitalism. I’d prefer to strike a balance between the two than embrace capitalism. Narayan Murthy says ‘selfish’ for capitalism is a wrong word, the right phrase according to him is ‘compassionate capitalism’, capitalist at work, socialist at heart. I may not agree with him completely, but then, he’s the man people listen to!Nice post by the way, I wonder how people are blessed to write good posts, I have to learn.

  11. Noodlehead Says:

    good one girlio! have a great 2007 🙂

  12. fondfire Says:

    TQ,Virginity isn’t a “non-issue” in the West by far! Yes, we’re a couple more generations removed from expectations of virginity at the time of marriage, but not by much. Actually, I thought the thing with the “chastity rings” was invented by American evangelical Christians, trying to use peer pressure as a tool to keep their children chaste, rather than the (more common) other way around! I had no idea that Hindus or Muslims had picked up on it! (And find it kind of amusing . . .) It may interest you to know that the studies in America show that kids who wear “chastity rings” still often engage in pre-marital sexual acts, much like their peers. However, these kids are also more likely to have received “abstinence-only” sex ed. “Abstinence-only” sex ed (which usually boils down to “sex is scary, you could get AIDS and die, or become pregnant and ruin your life, so don’t do it,” but ignores information about condoms, birth control, and practical STD prevention advice for the sexually active) has been shown in studies to (1) not appreciably reduce the rate of sexual activity, but (2) leads those who had it to be less likely to use condoms or birth control when they do have sex.There’s also the absurdity in the West of horny teenagers engaging in oral sex, manual sex, etc, etc, but then then still considering themselves VIRGINS because they didn’t have genital intercourse! I’ve even heard of a few cases of girls who considered themselves virgins after anal sex! Oh, yes, it may be different in Europe, but in evangelical America (and that goes double here for the South (southeast) of the U. S.) it’s still a big deal!(Related interesting factoid: Those who consider themselves evangelical actually marry younger, but have a higher divorce rate than the population as a whole. I consider this more evidence of sexual hypocracy, anyway . . .)Autogato had some interesting posts recently about dating and associated behavior. More on sexuality in American culture there . . .Otherwise, well, maybe we were all the “people of the year” at Time mostly because we HAVE BEEN such fine and conformist consumers. (You must realize that Corporate America will flatter and congratulate you for that! Thanks for buying and we’ll keep the profits! So long! We promise: it’s all about you!!!)😉

  13. Rohan D'souza Says:

    Fondfire – i think virginity is really a state of mind! And chastity a way of confirming faithfulness. You can see it in small kids – scorning at their best friend talking to some one else. Its in the nature – and both sexes expect it from each other equally and less from self. Am sure ethnographers just go home confused.

  14. Trauma Queen Says:

    hey blinkdreamz…i really like what you said about what n murthy said..i guess every ‘ism’ has its good and bad side…capitalism isnt bad…capitalism thru dishonest methods is… and i think what murthy says has some sense to it..i mean dont u think its easier to be charitable when u have the capital?..ok no real connection but money makes our lives and other ppls lives simpler…dont u think? and what better means that capitalism…especially since time magazine (the main inspiration behind this blogpost) is so good at it 🙂fondfire -u r right…’chastity rings’ are american…i read about an annual festival in texas where fathers and daughters dance at a chastity ball…i used the phrase to symbolise virginity and to show how the exact opposite is happening here in the east…what rohan said is so right…chastity/commitment blah blah are all states of mind…and hell the facts u brought up are howlarious (anal sex and ur still u a virgin??..kewl!! hehe)thanks all for the compliments on my writing skills…perhaps i should consider writing columns for time magazine…heheheh

  15. Rohan D'souza Says:

    A virgin everytime 🙂 what anal sex??? annual sex!

  16. IRIS Says:

    🙂Nice:-) Wish you all the best!

  17. fondfire Says:

    Write a column for Time magazine! Or any magazine! 😉Well, it isn’t true that they’re virgins after massive sex acts, but if they want to believe it . . .It was actually funny after the Clinton thing because it brought some of this to light . . . There were teenagers who felt that he and Lewinsky hadn’t actually had sex “all the way.” I mean, oral sex may be cheating on your spouse, but not “all the way” . . .:-pReally, there are more interesting things . . . 😉

  18. autogato Says:

    Fondfire is totally on the ball – virginity is soooooooooo NOT a non-issue here. Just like he mentioned – there’s even so much debate about how to teach sex education b/c some ppl think that if you even SAY the word condom that kids will run out and have sex. Please. Just provide the education!!!!

  19. sou Says:

    i agree with M, this is your best post so far.. loved reading it.may this amazing clarity of thought be true for the whole year! ((hugg))

  20. autogato Says:

    Yeppers – it was a great post. It has me longing for more!

  21. D Says:

    Nice read!

  22. theanalogkid Says:

    and post for February is still pending.. wake up

  23. Gutterflower Says:

    Yea I see why this is your fav post. Good writing. Keep going. =)


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