The Flu Blues

I am flu-ed and feel rather phlegm-atic today! Aachoo! I also realised I come up with some really awful jokes (and great work ideas) when I feel this way…

Can someone please tell me where the swine flew to? It is annoying to hear the whole world speak in incomplete sentences.

Ill Bill: A new movie starring Uma Thurman and a flying pig, and how she gets an H1N1 visa to heaven.

Would an epidemic be a pandemic of epic proportions? Or is a pandemic a situation where the entire nation feels as hot as a frying pan?

Pimples and acne affect almost everyone. It is high time the WHO considered it an epidermic.

If you are fluent in Tamil – can you be called a Tamilflu?

What should you use to cure the swine flu? Oinkment (Thanks for this one Aunty!)

It’s a pity they cannot use Tamiflu to combat the Tamil Flu which is affecting Sri Lanka 😛

The swine flu and global economic recession have caused a recession of another kind – hairlines!

Off to bed now! Clearly, the fever is affecting my funny bone. Hmm, that explains why a flu-induced body ache hurts the bones!

14 Responses to “The Flu Blues”

  1. Miniscule-thoughts Says:


    ayyo rama!

  2. theanalogkid Says:

    once the flu flies off, you will become illy nilly from ill bill

    wvc : cometi :p

  3. frissko Says:

    if Uma Thurman got sick, Ill Bill wouldn't be the right name…

    But fully ayyo post only…Get well quickly for blog sanity's sake if not for anything else…

  4. Trauma Queen Says:

    what ayyo – my followers have ben retweeting me jokes 😛

    i have been told to get more such fevers and do stand up comedy – that will be the death of me. lol

    cometi only…trauma!

  5. Tazeen Says:

    epidermic is a classic … v. v. good

  6. Aunty Helpful Dictator Says:

    you know how to treat swine flu, don't you?


    I'm truly sorry for such a bad joke!

  7. Trauma Queen Says:

    aunty! the oinkment joke is classic! i am adding it to this list (and tweeting it with your permission)

    btw irish tourism is being heavily promotoed in indian television these days…there is one line in the ad that goes "craic: means a good time" or something like that.

    it's a bit bizarre..them ads..mostly cos they make ireland sound a like a very tourist deprived place!

  8. Aunty Helpful Dictator Says:

    tweet away.

    Em yes… tourists… we've actually got bloody loads of them. The day before yesterday was Bloomsday (which I forgot) I found myself in town wondering why it was really busy on a Tuesday evening. And then yesterday the same thing. Someone asked me to explain what Bloomsday is, and all I could say was 'it's the fictional birthday of a fictional character…. stoopid James Joyce!' I felt particularly aggrieved when me and a friend were surrounded by a bunch of yanks walking down a street very loudly being way more literary than necessary and getting in the way…. ok if they came all the way from America they're hardly going to leave immediately, but I'd like them too.

    In defense of my nation's tourist board I would say we're very tourist friendly and tourist season is from about March to October so it's a lot longer than anywhere else in Europe. To be honest it isn't that much different in winter – we basically have shit weather all year round so come anytime… it's probably cheaper in winter.

    So if you like forty shades of green, and… well… rain, and sunlight until after 11pm in June, and finding everything overpriced, a visit to Ireland is for you!

    You'd never think I love this place, would you!

  9. Anonymous Says:

    No connection to this point at all, didnt i hear that a group of romanians are having some trouble in Ireland 🙂

  10. shilpa Says:

    That's Hilarious! Hope you feel better!

  11. Aunty Helpful Dictator Says:

    romanians? There are some romanian immigrants here alright – I have some romanian colleagues, but I can't think of an incident recently. But that also doesn't mean anything because I've a head like a sieve.

  12. Parikshith Kumar Says:

    Funny, witty writing. Enjoyed this one 🙂

  13. Princess Fiona Says:

    if being ill makes u come up with belters like these, u should get sick more often 😉
    good ones all around…
    wvc:putsoli…puts oil?? 🙂

  14. Sujatha Says:

    Hey.. where is u girl… wordpress is too difficult to navigate …i have been searching for ur new posts and was unable to find any… where are u… how are u and what u been upto

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