The Greep Files – 2

Not sure why I decided to publish this after four years…but I just did.

A persistent greep (geeky creep) kept harassing me via email (official mail if you may) for many months when I was a fresher in this very same office, and when my parents and best friend happened to be abroad. This was years before they set up an anti-harassment cell. When it was commonplace to sing Hindi songs to women, wave at them, follow them, stare stare and stare (I wondered if staring at a computer all day made IT workers compulsive starers). When HR would say “It’s ok ma..we do not want to fire a good employee…just tell him to stop and leave it at that.” When I would go nuts wondering if my neighbour who happened to work in the same office was this psycho. When I quit the company because I stopped having faith in it.

I never got to know who this psycho was, but I do know that my workplace isΒ very different now. No one stares at me. No one dares to. Either the anti-harassment posters have educated many an IT worker, or some girls just manage to get the no-nonsense look after going through a lot of nonsense.

Now, I have faith in the system, in the anti-harassment cell, of being very well versed with corporate law, and in the power of reacting, instead of staying silent.

I posted the first set of the greep files back in 2005 when it happened. I am completing the story now.

FILE FIVE:
sub: hello

Hello,

I hope u must be comfortable by now at new location.In my last mail I asked for ur cell no. These mails & my career are heavily related; technically these mails constitute an unacceptable term in any company following best practices.

Actually, every time I want to ping u, past 24 yrs of my life, flash in front of my eyes in a moment’s time. [Popularly said – just before death u get glimpse of ur life in few seconds]

All those days cycling and going to school, coming back studying hard for engineering entrance, then recognizing importance of a Management degree and securing admission in a B School. Always sitting in front row of the class (unwillingly) and asking unwanted questions for securing class participation marks and meeting Profs personally, helping them in their projects and technical papers as a part of Outside Class Participation. The whole process is (un)popularly termed as RGgiri (RG stands for relative grading). The picture can be better understood if u read Chetan Bhagat’s Five Point Someone. All this for a decent job. Which I feel, I have now. Actually I don’t want to throw away hard work done all these years for such a relatively trivial issue. I hope u understand my concerns now.

Btw ur new look is pretty. U r looking gorgeous. U must be flattered by now and would have decided to offer me a cup of coffee (Pls say yes). So ur cell no. and preferred meeting place/time???

I hope I am not disturbing u all these days.
Sincerely waiting for ur reply.
________________________________________________________
MY REPLY :
(which HR asked me to tone down, since I had first mentioned going to the police and all…after which I never heard from the guy again)

Hi,
Since you are so concerned about your career, my advice to you would be to stop all forms of communication henceforth. Please do not try to contact me OR any of my friends or I will be forced to take the necessary steps.

I wanted to meet you in person to figure this out with you, but you are obviously too frightened, and I do not know how you can expect anyone to give their phone number to a faceless, nameless person.

You are aware of the fact that what you are doing is WRONG and you still continue to be persistent. So much so that when I ignored your mails, you thought contacting my friend was alright.

Please note that this is no way to communicate or make friends with anybody.
__________________________________________________________________
Email sent to my best friend, the same day:
I am purposely sending off mail from gmail account….figured its safe. I’m missing u a lot.

That stupid loser will not stop…and I hav tried to sweet talk him into revealing his identity..friends kinda suggestd that.. but he just completely dodges me. I got frustrated and sent a “stop botherin me” mail based on what HR told me. They said they will try n trace him…try it seems..all big chickens..psychos and management.

I fully told off MS to help me try and trace this guy’s id….even he was like “what does this guy want..wants to pester you..but does not want to meet you” and the funny part is when I told him how the psycho wants to meet for coffee and get my number …he was like “he has a chance in hell..I could not achieve that even tho I was on the same floor for 10 months” hehehehhehee

Seems with each new creep..the previous one seems like an angel in comparison…..I suppose MS is nicer cos he’s an open creep……and suddenly even doodh waala bhaiyya with the oily hair who kept singing filmi songs seems like a nice guy..at least he was openly obnoxious…

do see the loser’s latest mail and my reply..and i dont think i will EVER read five point anyone πŸ˜›

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10 Responses to “The Greep Files – 2”

  1. onely Says:

    ACK! That is so disturbing. I can't believe HR would have that reaction. No, actually, I can. Good for you for telling him off. What a greep. (Now on my list of Top Ten Favorite Words.)
    Christina

  2. The Singlutionary Says:

    Something similar happened to me but didn't go on for very long. I got work emails from someone who mentioned facts about my personal life and said that he moved to my town so that he would eventually run into me. Could have been a joke but it made me scared for 5 months (until I moved again).

    This is creepy! I am glad its over!

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Have you ever noticed that 'Greepiness' is directly proportional to 'Prettyness / Good Looking Ness'. The more good looking, the more the greepiness :(, . I guess in life, one will have to prepared to meet a lot of nice folk as well as the weirdos..

  4. Trauma Queen Says:

    @Christina: yes HR DID have that reaction…the MNC i work with has some very strong laws but the same laws were not being practised in the India office. But things are much better now…which might explain the sentiment behind the 'proud to be proud' post I wrote sometime back. 4 years back I hated being here..now..I feel proud to see that change HAS happened. Only I'm not sure if change has happened or if MY perspective has changed or if it's a bit of both.

    As a kid I'd think "dang the previous creep was better than this one" – but truth is..no greep should be spared. No behavior – of this sort should be tolerated by anyone. If HR does not empower you then be so well versed with HR policy that they are forced to listen to you and make a change. (It HAS worked for me – I have come to realise HR will not bail you out, they have too many things to worry about – but you need to ensure you push them around till they are forced to listen to you)

    @singlutionary: how did you deal with it? tell me more..

    @anon: true and not so true! i sometimes think u need to be remotely female to get the attention of a greep, but the 'good looking' ones perhaps get more attention? not sure…

  5. Princess Fiona Says:

    uggghhh…disgusted me readin ur mails..paavam u…esp back in 2005, well when u were younger and less "experienced" / mature!

    wat a prick! its the passive aggressive sleaziness which is most off-putting…and i truly am shocked that HR of a MNC company like yours are so casual about this!

    did u ever manage to trace the guy? kick him in the nuts from me! god knows he deserves it!

  6. Anonymous Says:

    that is nauseating.
    and awful that both the assholes (the HR and he) got away with it.

    ~P

  7. Epiphany Says:

    I can't imagine all the crap women have to put up with…i dnt think the situation is much better now…

    – helmet creep πŸ˜‰

  8. greep Says:

    i was the one who wrote all those mails to you……..

    a mutual friend told me to check out ur blog….

  9. The Singlutionary Says:

    I was so pissed off when I read greep's response. For that to come back into your life after all this time is entirely awful. Just when you think its all gone away. Thank you for inviting me to continue reading your blog!

  10. Trauma Queen Says:

    @ greep: ashish..very very stupid prank you played..I hope you understand U pissed off me and my readers a lot!

    How did I know it's you – I'm a language expert remember? that was the first give-away πŸ˜›


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