The 2009 dictionary of phrase and fable.

Facebook: A social networking site whose users increased threefold this year alone. (perhaps due to Zynga and the recession).  A site so popular, a movie is being made on it starring Justin Timberlake.

Farm Wars: What you’re really doing when your boss thinks you’re slogging away at work.

Gay Pride: What the GLBT community felt when homosexuality in India was finally decriminalized.

A Hole in One:  The state of a certain golfer’s pocket for being a Tiger…in bed 😛

‘I dream of Jinnah’: The unpublished Memoirs of Jaswant Singh on the death of free speech.

It ain’t over till the fat lady sings: Susan Boyle

Jai Ho Ho Ho: What a Slumdog Santa sings.

Kan ye be any Swifter in making an ass of yourself? : The VMA’s

Michael Jackson: The result of a media that is schizophrenic enough to give you hell while you’re alive, yet glorify you posthumously.

Moonwalk: A jig performed by Indian scientists after they discovered water on the moon

Nano: Not just an i-pod! Do note that pronunciation of this little fella is ‘naa-no’

Obama: A very Nobel Change Management Specialist.

Piggy on the railtrack: A nursery rhyme that is actually a euphemism for the the mass slaughter of influenzed pigs.

Pink Chaddis: A cocktail you do not get in Indian pubs.

Rakhi Sawant: A wannabity who first makes you her saiyyan, then makes you her bhaiyya.

SchuMACHer:  Out goes the Woods, in comes the racetrack.

Twitter: What made Ashton Kutcher happy, Jennifer Aniston sad, put Shashi Tharoor in the spotlight, and shut down the day Michael Jackson died.

Viagra: What Tiwari is clearly using.

Web 3.0: Web 2.0 that you might just have to pay for. Starting with Wikipedia…

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Neologisms

Neo Year – Neo Logos
As a happy new year gift to all me readers, I have decided to make a list of all the crazy words invented by me friends and me. Please feel free to use them and popularise them.

  1. TRAUMA: A word that can be used as an adjective, noun or adverb. It is typically best used when you are stressed-out, but it can also be used whenever you want to say something, but really don’t know what word to use.
    Usage:
    “Cellu was one trauma client.”
    “Why are you wearing such a trauma dress?”
    “Full fun trauma happened!!”
  2. Highlarious: Anything that is highly hilarious.
    Usage: “His high-jump was highlarious!”
  3. Howlarious: So hilarious, it’s a howl.
    Usage: “Did you see that trauma guy’s acting? It was howlarious!”
  4. Wowsome: Wow + awesome
    Usage: “This is not just awesome, it’s wowsome!!”
  5. Groovioli: Groovy like ravioli
    Usage: “A dance club that serves free food? Groovioli!!”
  6. Complisult: A compliment that is really an insult, or an insult that is really a compliment
    Usage: “He called me a wannabe geek. Now I’m not sure if he was being nice or mean. I suppose he meant it as a complisult”
  7. Bebilicious: A term used to describe a cutie named Bebu
    Usage: “Bebs, you’re totaly bebilicious ;)”
  8. Bhae: singular for bhains (buffalo).
    Usage: “That trauma guy is so bhae”
  9. Dufus* Moronicus: a duffer and a moron
    Usage: “Homer Simpson, you’re not just a dufus, you’re a dufus moronicus.”
  10. Wape: The offspring of a highly evolved woman and an ape
    Usage: click here
  11. Ughtastic: So ugh its fantastic
    Usage: “Did you see that grey cockroach that scuttled by? Ughtastic!”
  12. David Wowie: When you have been Ziggy Stardusted!
    Usage: “She has been obsessing over shiny spandex clothes and glam rock. Methinks she is in a David Wowie state of mind.”
  13. Geekariffic: So geeky it’s terrific
    Usage: “You have gotta try wearing sports shoes with formal pants!! It’s totally geekariffic!”
  14. Fritching – bitching in front of someone
    Usage: “Who said I was bitching about you? I’m telling you honey all that lead in your lipstick is going to your brains!”
  15. Wouch: A wow that makes you go ouch
    Usage: “Sigh! that wowsome girl makes my heart go wouch.”
  16. Ayyo Rama: What a stressed-out popsie says.
    Ayyo Karma : What the stressed out cab driver says.
    Ayyo Trauma: What I say in addition to the two above.
    Ayyo Rama! Ayyo Karma! Ayyo trauma: What you hear when the cab carrying popsie, tq and the cab driver is almost hit by a bus.
    Ayyo Seeta : What vedu unkal says in response to what popsie says.
    Ayyo Shut Up: What everyone else says when popsie, tq, the cab driver and vedu unkal are around.
  17. Funderla: having fun at Wonderla, or the equivalent of it
    Usage: “Come on da! Full funderla only it will be”
  18. Gangrene groupie – a person who likes to be a part of a gang or a group and loses his own identity thereof.
    Usage: “Oh so now all of them wear black because it is the ‘group’ colour eh? What a bunch of gangrene groupies!”
  19. Stretchercise – Stretching exercises than may end you up in a stretcher.
    Usage: “Our yoga master keeps telling us to stretch. I’m scared this will end up becoming another form of stretchercise”
  20. Qwae: a general feeling of weirdness, or the sound your tummy makes when it is upset
    Usage:
    “I am feeling very qwae qwae”
    “That bhae’s stomach keeps going qwae”
  21. Hexercise** : exercise that involves inhalation and HEXalation
    Example: “The Yoga master said: Inhaaaale….exhaaale…take a deeep breath…inhaaaale..now hex..hex..hex..hex”
  22. Morantic*** : Romance that makes you a moron
    Usage: “That silly girl thinks her trauma bf is a superman – how morantic indeed”
  23. Greep****: a geeky creep
    Usage: click here
  24. Bhitamins: What a bheri bhad bhaiya tells you to take bhen you hab a cold.
    Prounced as: Bhai-tam-ins

And if new words like these interest you – do check out the Urban Dictionary. You can even contribute neologisms created by you 🙂

* coined by Bart Simpson
** coined by Ashu Byabee
*** coined by Gudrun, meaning provided by me
**** coined by Udeesha

Goodbye, Hello

So I’m the Time’s person of the year, and so are you and so is everybody else 😛

So we learnt the meaning of a shrinking world, we crossed boundaries, respected differences, ego-surfed, narcicissed, plagiarized and so on and so forth.

We read between the lines when no lines existed, we hid behind anonymous identities secretly spewing opinions. We abused, we tolerated, we made friends, we learnt and perhaps un-learnt.

In my own life, office creeps paved the way for good, decent male friends.

Jennifer Aniston decided to steal my new year resolution of being single and happy. Of course, I don’t want people to think I copied her idea, so I shall not write about it on my blog – “my little space” where I get to rave and rant about silly things that affect me so.

The public has taken the place of the private, we prefer leaving scraps to sending emails. We fish for sympathy from our blogger friends because we are too scared to hear the truth from our ‘real’ friends. We have the occasional ‘psycho’ enjoying the freedom of invisibility so much that voyeurism, e-stalking and pornographic avatars are now ‘cool’ things to indulge in.

Virgins are becoming a minority in India. If you choose to wear a chastity ring, you are frowned upon as being a new-age weirdo who is too scared of ‘defying’ an antiquated moral system. There is no such thing as peer pressure when you have crossed your teens, or so is the belief. You are supposedly old enough to think for yourself, whether you are 20 or 60.

I noticed that being parents is not easy, and being grandparents is perhaps even more challenging. Grandparents have not only gone through the arduous task of bringing up their children, they worry for their grandchildren, neglect their health, and live up to the responsibility of being role models for everybody involved.

I met people who eloped at 19, divorced at 24, people who feared they would be single for the rest of their lives, and a woman who chose to get married at 40 and have kids at 45.

Asthma is on the rise and I fear I may soon become its next victim, as is the case with every other person in my city.

I hated the corporate world two years ago, but I have also had many a reality check here. Very few people think. My doggie tag is now an access card that is nothing more than a mere access card. I have outgrown my communist student days and have started embracing capitalism for what it is worth. ‘Selfish’ no longer has a negative connotation in my dictionary.

I want to stop being a coward and learn to make up my mind without being so obsessed with having a plausible ‘business case’ every time. I now firmly believe that while opposites attract, they are worst things that can happen to each other. It is frustrating to always explain your jokes, your opinions, your point of views etc etc to someone who thinks so differently from you. I’m now on the lookout for a clone, at the same time, I want to give the present my very best shot, and appreciate every moment, because moments are after all, fleeting.

I might become a voice-over artist some day…some day….some day…

Till then, I sincerely pray and hope that everyone gets their chance to turn into a new leaf, if it was ever on their agenda.