Flushmaster

ek main aur ek tu hai
aur hawa mein badboo hai
paas mein odonil hai
samjho saare baat baaki

peth ka kya bharosa
banke paani beh jaaye
kal agar mar hum jaaye
reh na jaaye waqt baaki

right here right now loosiyo ka samaa
(flush the potty one time)
right here right now hum hai is pal jaha
(flush the potty two times)
bhool jaao
muskurao
reh na jaaye baat baaki

Victoria’s real secret

is that some of its stuff is ‘Made in India’…..even though none of its stuff is sold in India.

This little piece of information got me asking
“where? where? where?!!?”

“do they actually have a factory here??”

“is it perhaps some local brand that is being sold to Mr. Victoria and his secret factory at dirt cheap rates, only to be bought at frightfully expensive rates by unsuspecting brand conscious people?”

Knowing the politics of business, the answer to that question is most likely to be a yes.

In which case, which is this local brand?????

do you think they exploit labour? child labour perhaps??

This was an interesting discovery for me, especially since it’s commonplace to see a ‘Made in Taiwan/China/Japan\Nippon’ as against a ‘Made in India’ , and also cos I have been told by some businessmen friends that foreign companies refrain from using the ‘Made in India’ label for fear that it might hamper sales (read: racism)

hmm….I wonder what other secrets Victoria is keeping……

The One

V days is round the corner and mush is in the air…

Often I hear people in love talking about ‘the one’….
“ooh I met this person….and I know for sure that s/he’s ‘the one’

While most people are curious to know ‘who’ the one is, I’d like to know
“What is the one?”

If A thinks B is the one, is it natural that B must think A is ‘the one’?
What if A thinks B is the one, but B thinks C is the one?

What if I think B is the one, but realize fifteen years from now that B was never the one…

What if A,B,C,D and E think F is the one? Wouldn’t F be more of a 1/5th than ‘the one’?

What if ‘the one’ for me is a sushi eating Japanese? or an eskimo? What are the odds of my meeting him/her?

Is there really ‘the one’? What if there is a two, a three..or even a seven?!

Is Jet Li ‘The One’???? 😉

My my my my my my my MY Winona!

Listening to ‘My Sharona’ and typing in my associative thoughts….

Reality bites
2 guys and one really hot girl

what would u do if you could end the movie?

a) We stick to the original ending, where she lands up with Ethan, just cos Ben conveniently spoils her tape and loses her trust.

b) Ben Stiller does not spoil her tape, which leaves him as the only ‘nice succesful guy’ left for her to choose.

c) Enter Jennifer Aniston, and Winona realises Jenny is way better than Ethan and Ben. (I would have liked to put me instead of Jenny, but hey, where’s me and where’s Jenny?!)

d) I’m the director of this movie so I express my undying love for Winona and she murders Ethan, Ben and Jenny for me and we both live happily ever after 🙂

e) Winona is fed up with the unecessary attention she’s getting and kills herself. I can’t live without my Winona and I kill myself. You guys are spared of my trauma posts.

hmmm…………..

methinks option e will win…..

Oh Winona! (blinkety batty eyes, throbbing heart!!!!)

and no, there is no option ‘f’ where Winona resurrects from the dead (ala R&J) and runs into the sunset with you 😛

Planet of the Wapes – part 2

WOW
This blogging has mighty powers!!!

I never knew about its reach and its effect till I started blogging.

Looks like my article on wapes (link) has created a worldwide interest in wapedom!
They took my backward devolution theory so seriously they went back in time and created an organization on wapes!

Read on: WAPES website

A sneak peak:
What is the purpose of WAPES?

The main purposes are to
– encourage contacts between the various member bodies (oookaay!!!!)
– promote exchange of experiences and information of the activities of the members (activities??? hmmm)
– encourage co-operation between members, especially between the more developed bodies and the less developed ones
(hahaha..that one really got me cracking!!!)

Yenjay madi folks! (spoons and knaves 🙂

hehehehehehe

The love song of H J Singh

(To be sung to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’)

Balle belles balle belles
Balle all the way
Oye tussi aao saade naal
Balle in the khet
HEY!
Balle belles balle belles
Balle all the way
Tussi aao saade naal
Balle in the hay

Dashing through the khet
On a tractor with my mate
Eating sarso da saag
With a soni kudiye

Come to my Punjaab
For there I am the King
And if you marry me you’ll be
Mrs. Happy Singh

Hey!

Balle belles balle belles
Balle all the way
Oye tussi aao saade naal
Balle in the khet
HEY!
Balle belles balle belles
Balle all the way
Tussi aao saade naal
Balle in the hay

Very Naughty Nursery rhymes

Rhymes, Songs, spoofs etc…
Stuff that they would never teach you in school….unless of course…your’e in Chittyville!!!

Most of these rhymes have been compiled from email forwards, a few of them have been composed by yours truly 😀

Updated in Dec 2008!

Mary had a little lamb
It had a touch of colic
She gave it brandy everyday
And now it’s alcoholic!

Mary had a little lamb
It’s fleece was white and whispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now its black and crispy.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread!

Mary had a little lamb,
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb,
It leapt around in hops.
It frolicked on the road one day
And finished up as chops.

Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water,
God knows what they did up there
They came back with a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass.
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke a lil leaf,
Jack got high opened his fly
And Jill said “Where’s the beef?!”

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill’s now two months overdue
And Jack has left the city.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn’t the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, coz he was gay.

Old Mother Hubbard,
Went to the cupboard,
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

The queen of hearts, she made some tarts
All on a summer’s day.
The knave of hearts, he stole those tarts
And ate them all away.
The queen of hearts, woke up with a start
And chased the knave at bay;
But the knave of hearts gave out a fart
And killed the queen right-away.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey! He needed the money too.

Little birdie flying high,
Dropped a message from the sky
‘Oh’, said the farmer wiping his eye,
‘Isn’t it lucky cows don’t fly?’

Hickory Dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one –
and the other two ran away with minor injuries.

Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Push your teacher overboard
Then you’ll hear her scream.

Roll roll roll a joint
Twist it at the ends
Light it up and take a puff
And pass it to your friends

I love drugs, drugs love me.
Cocaine, crack and ecstacy.
With a sniff sniff here, and a sniff sniff there
Now I’m in intensive care

I love you, you love me.
Homosexuality.
Everybody thinks we’re just good friends,
They don’t know were lesbians.

Here comes the bride – sixty inches wide
Look at her how she wobbles up the centre aisle.
Here comes the groom – biting his nails in gloom,
He’s looking as thin as a rolling pin and never again will he smile.

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead…
And when she was good,
She was very very good,
But when she was bad
She got a fur coat, jewels, a Waterfront condo and a sports car.

This one’s my all time favourite. Nelson sings it to Lisa in ‘The Simpsons’

Joy to the world
The teacher’s dead
We barbecued her head.
What happened to her body
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes
And roooooouuund and roound and round it goes!!