To begin with – I hate the concept of a wedding. Of wasting a lot of money to wear uncomfortable clothes, sit in front of a fire that causes allergic reactions, chant slokas that I do not and probably never will understand. I think Arya samaj weddings are nice – but only to watch. What I really hate about weddings is feeding people you have probably said ‘hello’ to once in your entire life, who only yak and chatter and pass lousy comments throughout the wedding.
I do not want to relocate to another city. And yes, MOST people relocate at some point or another – it is typically the girl (I’m saying this based on married couples I personally know). I’m happy living in this city, having grown up here, having my parents here – please do not expect me to be married to you and stay in another city. I’d rather not be married.
I do not believe in ‘middle paths’ and ‘equal halves’. We all know there is always a bigger half. The bigger half typically goes to the more aggressive person in the couple, and one person is ALWAYS more aggressive and authoritative.
Perhaps I’d like to be the one who gets the bigger half. What perhaps – of course I do!
I do not want to come home tired and exhausted and have to cook for someone else. It is a different matter if there is someone to cook for me, but I do not like the idea of having to be that cook every now and then.
The biggest difference between dating and marriage is that marriage brings 2 families together – which is a terribly stressful thought. Perhaps I am brainwashed by Ekta Kapoor, but I DO NOT want my life to ever be about sarees and trauma jewelry and being paraded as an exhibit by in-laws and pilgrimages and poojas and what not.
I want to date others and not have people pass comments like ‘wojshooo-she is married but having dinner with some other fello’. Also, I do not want to tag along to all your friend’s parties and outings and what nots as exhibit: wife/gf/whatever. And once we marry, we have to be a ‘couple’ that does everything together. Like two stupid oxen yoked together for eternity. Yuck.
I do not want I to morph into US. Ever.
I want lots of babies, and I want them to be MY babies, not OURS. It’s a pity that human cloning is a big legal issue.
I am not a femextremist. I am mostly selfish, and love being so.
I strongly feel I was meant to be a single celled organism, mitosis and all. But guess wot, I’m not one 😛
I also believe I am doing ‘man’kind a huge favour by not getting married. You can gather whatever meaning you want from that statement 🙂
A divorce takes 6 months, a parting of ways takes lesser time.
I don’t think ‘living in’ is any better. You still have to put up with one person and cook and clean and relocate and be an ‘us’ and go mad.
Amoebae rock! They can also make pretty flowery shapes, and cause a bad stomach – hehe.
regarding pt 11: No! Asexual reproduction has its own disadvantages. A vulnerability in your DNA will adversely affect all the identical copies you’ll make. >>Take help of a man, but educate them with your ideas.
and a divorce takes much more than 6 months…it is one year of separation (mandated by the honorable governument of india) followed by an indefinite legal tussle (cos one of the 2 wouldn’t have wanted to part ways and hence will give hell to the other…and this however nice the person in question is!)…
Maybe you have a point . . . I don’t know. Maybe I seem to get into the idea of marriage more because I’m a guy and I tend to buy take out instead of cook when it’s my turn . . . I am becoming more and more resigned to the idea that my DNA stops with me and that is simply that.>>Fondfire <-- another failed experiment in the laboratory of life found too unfit to breed>>I am not sure why I persist in thinking about it in such gloomy terms, but I do.>>Sometimes I think every woman I find most refreshing in the human race thinks as you do. At least, they’ve decided not to have any babies (though perhaps for different reasons). Sure, many of them will wind up having them anyway, but I’m pretty sure no one will ever decide to do so with me.>>In any case, you sound more convinced that ever. Either that or you’re about to live out some variation on the plot of <>The Taming of the Shrew<>. 😉
P.S. Do you think you’d find the idea of marriage less stressful in a society with less stringent “censoring” of the married, particularly wives? Or is the blending of yourself with another family just too unacceptable? Perhaps you just haven’t met the guy from the right family yet. Some guy over there must have a progressive thinking family . . .
OMG I soooooooooooo love this post as it feels like I am reflected. I had almost the same stand 2 yrs back and was muted with an entire fly piling a load of emotions and typical Indian ethos (well…actually speaking it is probably fair to read that as I lost my backbone)that promoted(so they believe) me to a couple status and it was an unanimous declaration ”things would change after marriage”. Aboslutely – things change but I still believe in my old belief but this does NOT mean i am living a nightmare. Sounds nuts but i am not alone and those wearing the very same hat like me wud know what I am talking abt…well again I believe 🙂>Anywys good luck on your stand and I hope u get to live the way you want without being engulfed!
woooah..how did this masterpiece escape my notice!! 🙂 >>verrrry you.. (which it has to be since it’s your blog :p)>>i totally get what you are saying.. ofcourse i don’t agree.. but i had so much fun reading this post! sakkath!
Wow. Some of those are very compelling arguments. Makes me think.>>I often feel like I’m “on the fence” about marriage. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve lived on my own too long and am too used to be so independent.>>Hold out! Be single! I’m there with you!
Marriage is the only adventure open to cowards, it is said. >Point 1 and 8 are deterrents for me too. Lavish and enormous Indian weddings (EIW) aren’t for me. >>BTW, your academic background is English? I was surprised since you make ‘because’ sound like a trigonometric ratio. 😀
“I want lots of babies, and I want them to be MY babies, not OURS. It’s a pity that human cloning is a big legal issue.” This is interesting, because behind the scenes of our singles advocacy blog we’ve been wondering about people who feel obligated to marry or couple up because they want kids, even though they don’t necessarily care about having a partner. Of course having a partner makes childcare easier, but only because we don’t have alternative resources in places for single people–which is ridiculous! >CC
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