Why I never want to marry

1. To begin with – I hate the concept of a wedding. Of wasting a lot of money to wear uncomfortable clothes, sit in front of a fire that causes allergic reactions, chant slokas that I do not and probably never will understand. I think Arya samaj weddings are nice – but only to watch. What I really hate about weddings is feeding people you have probably said ‘hello’ to once in your entire life, who only yak and chatter and pass lousy comments throughout the wedding.
2. I do not want to relocate to another city. And yes, MOST people relocate at some point or another – it is typically the girl (I’m saying this based on married couples I personally know). I’m happy living in this city, having grown up here, having my parents here – please do not expect me to be married to you and stay in another city. I’d rather not be married.
3. I do not believe in ‘middle paths’ and ‘equal halves’. We all know there is always a bigger half. The bigger half typically goes to the more aggressive person in the couple, and one person is ALWAYS more aggressive and authoritative.
4. Perhaps I’d like to be the one who gets the bigger half. What perhaps – of course I do!
5. I do not want to come home tired and exhausted and have to cook for someone else. It is a different matter if there is someone to cook for me, but I do not like the idea of having to be that cook every now and then.
6. I like gaypop and Le Sport. I do not like Bimbo Boy’s music. I am currently listening to ‘If Neil Tennant was my lover’
7. Point 6 was a digression.
8. The biggest difference between dating and marriage is that marriage brings 2 families together – which is a terribly stressful thought. Perhaps I am brainwashed by Ekta Kapoor, but I DO NOT want my life to ever be about sarees and trauma jewelry and being paraded as an exhibit by in-laws and pilgrimages and poojas and what not.
9. I want to date others and not have people pass comments like ‘wojshooo-she is married but having dinner with some other fello’. Also, I do not want to tag along to all your friend’s parties and outings and what nots as exhibit: wife/gf/whatever. And once we marry, we have to be a ‘couple’ that does everything together. Like two stupid oxen yoked together for eternity. Yuck.
10. I do not want I to morph into US. Ever.
11. I want lots of babies, and I want them to be MY babies, not OURS. It’s a pity that human cloning is a big legal issue.
12. I am not a femextremist. I am mostly selfish, and love being so.
13. I strongly feel I was meant to be a single celled organism, mitosis and all. But guess wot, I’m not one 😛
14. I also believe I am doing ‘man’kind a huge favour by not getting married. You can gather whatever meaning you want from that statement 🙂
15. A divorce takes 6 months, a parting of ways takes lesser time.
16. I don’t think ‘living in’ is any better. You still have to put up with one person and cook and clean and relocate and be an ‘us’ and go mad.
17. Amoebae rock! They can also make pretty flowery shapes, and cause a bad stomach – hehe.
18. And no, this aint new, I have been a great lover of singlehood for a long time now.